Krs­­ṇa is Parabrahma, Paramātmā, Parameśvara—the Supreme Lord. If God Himself suffers and cannot be peaceful for a second without the grace of Śrīmatī Rādhārānī when She is angry with Him, then what will be the position of the living entities if they are divided and distant from Her? Thus, if any conditioned soul chants the holy names of Śrīmatī Rādhārānī, remembers Her, prays for Her blessings, and cries for Her compassion, then certainly, without a doubt, such a person will experience eternal bliss. He himself will be blissful, and will fill anyone who comes in contact with him in bliss.

kenāpi doṣa-lava-mātra-lavena devi

santāḍyamāna iha dhīra-mate tvayoccaiḥ

roṣeṇa tal lalitayā kila nīyamānaḥ

sandrakṣyate kim u manāk sa-dayaṁ jano ‘yam

Vilāpa-kusumāñjali 95

O grave and sober one, You once severely rebuked me and sent me away for committing just the tiniest mistake. When will you mercifully glance upon this pitiful person after Lalitā brings her back to You?

Dāsa Gosvāmī prays, “O Rādhike, please do not be angry with me. You are the epitome of patience and tolerance. In this world, millions of people don’t follow or respect You. Still, You continuously help all living entities, but they do not think of You. You don’t reject them or stop nourishing them for even a second. If You did so, all the material and spiritual creation would be destroyed in an instant. You have unlimited patience and give everything to the living entities. I am full of faults. Please don’t look at them.

“Please send Lalitā-devī. May she be kind to me and bring me before You, and then ask You to forgive me and bestow some service on this small Rati. I do not understand what is wrong and what is right. If You say, ‘Get out, never come near Me. You have no brain,’ then what will be my position? I don’t know the process of Your service, but I am very greedy for this.”

Absorbed in his eternal form as Rati Mañjarī, Dāsa Gosvāmī prays to Śrīmatī Rādhārānī, “O Rādhike, I made a small mistake and therefore You have kicked me out of Your kuñja. Kṛṣṇa came and spoke to me, questioning me and enticing me to reply. I tried very hard to remain silent, but afterwards I could not constrain myself and I independently gave an answer to Him. Seeing me speaking with Kṛṣṇa outside the kuñja, You became angry. When I reentered the kuñja, You said, ‘Get out! Don’t come near me.’ Lalitā-devī saw me crying in a corner and brought me back to You. O Rādhe, my heart was broken when You sent me away angrily. I cannot express the magnitude of my sorrow and cannot find peace anywhere. I have no one in this world but You; I cannot leave You and go to anyone else. O Rādhe, I had no desire to speak with Kṛṣṇa, but what could I do…”

Śrīla Gurudeva gave an example here. Once, Vallabhācārya instructed his dear disciple, “When Thakurji is given rest after the midday offering and artik go inside the temple altar and fan the Lord with eyes closed. If you hear someone saying anything, don’t give any answer or open your eyes.”

The disciple followed his Gurudeva’s instruction. A short while after beginning to fan the Lord, the disciple heard someone saying, “Hey! Why are you fanning for so long with closed eyes? Open your eyes and look at Me!”

When the disciple didn’t open his eyes or speak anything, the voice continued, “Speak something! You will fan Me, but won’t talk to Me, or look at Me? If you have so much daring to fan Me as I rest, then why won’t you speak to Me?”

But the disciple remained firm to the order of his Gurudeva and remained fanning, while the Lord endeavored to make him speak. Outside, Gurudeva was waiting to see what happened.

When the Deitie’s curtains were opened at four in the afternoon, Vallabhācārya asked his disciple, “Who was talking to you?”

“Gurudeva, I followed your instruction and didn’t open my eyes. But someone was saying again and again, ‘Open your eyes and talk to Me.’”

“You did well.”

Śrīla Gurudeva gave this example when commenting on this verse of Vilāpa-kusumāñjali.

Śrīla Gurudeva would further explain.

Kṛṣṇa could not tolerate seeing Rādhārānī’s one-pointed beloved maidservant. She was so close to Rādhārānī, such an expert maidservant, and so beautiful, that Kṛṣṇa came and tried to converse with Rati Mañjarī, teasing her from behind, in front, and side-to-side. Rati Mañjarī remained firm and ignored Kṛṣṇa, and then He began teasing her, “O Svāminī’s beloved! O Svāminī’s nearest and dearest! There is no one dearer to Her than you. You know Her better than any other. You are so chaste! You don’t speak with anyone else or look at anyone. Oh! You are so proud. If anyone comes to you, you show them contempt and reject them.”

Kṛṣṇa began teasing her like this more and more, until finally Rati Mañjarī’s resolve was broken and she strongly responded to Kṛṣṇa’s antics. This is called vaco-vegam.

Rādhārānī had told Rati Mañjarī, “You are so close to Me, don’t allow any distance to come between us. Don’t speak or make relation with anyone.”

Rādhārānī knew what had transpired. When Rati Mañjarī fearfully came to Rādhārānī, She reprimanded her, “Why did you give Him a moment of your time? Why did you show Him any affection by speaking with Him? Go! Never come near Me. Leave here at once!”

Rati Mañjarī left in a state of devastation. She fell down in a corner outside the kuñja in despair, and within, Rādhārānī also lamented. When Rādhārānī could no longer tolerate being separated, Lalitā-devī brought Rati back to Rādhārānī. Then Lalitā said to Śrīmatījī, “Will You forgive her and look just once in her direction?”

Dāsa Gosvāmī says, “You have patience and tolerance, please forgive me. What was my fault? Amidst a thousand things Kṛṣṇa said, I only gave a momentary reply and looked at Him for a moment from the corner of my eyes.”

Those mañjarīs and sakhīs who are in Rādhārānī’s group have this difficulty. Rādhārānī is not pleased if they have relation with any other.

In the first verse of Vilāpa-kusumāñjali, Rādhārānī gave indication for Kṛṣṇa to go to Rūpa, and Rādhārānī watched, ‘What will Rūpa do?’ Like if I told you, ‘Do this work.’ Then I will watch what you do, and if you do any error, I will correct you. What did Rūpa Mañjarī do? She ran away when Kṛṣṇa came to her. However, Rati Mañjarī spoke with Kṛṣṇa, therefore Rādhārānī became upset. If she had not spoken with Kṛṣṇa, then Rādhārānī would have been happy ten or twenty times more, and Kṛṣṇa as well.

Kṛṣṇa also would be happier if Rati had completely ignored Him, and He would have teased her even more, embracing her from behind, kissing her neck and then saying, “Won’t you speak to Me?” Kṛṣṇa would fold His hands to her a thousand times if she completely ignored Him.

This mood is essential. Therefore, from an external
per­­spective, Rūpa Gosvāmī instructed, ‘vaco-vegam’ for sādhakas, and for those in the highest position, this is applied to a much greater extent.

Once, a policeman came and spoke with me while I was cutting vegetables in Mathurā, near the kitchen in Keśavajī Gauḍīya Maṭha. Śrīla Gurudeva was sitting in a chair on the other side of the temple courtyard. After watching me speak to the policeman for sometime, he began shouting, “Why are you talking so much? What is the need? Why do you have so much affection for this outside man?”

The policeman became astonished, got up and left. There is a very strong bond between the servant and served. If one is someone’s svapakṣa, any slight deviation will not be tolerated, even if it is of no great significance.

tavaivāsmi tavaivāsmi na jīvāmi tvayā vinā

iti vijñāya devi tvaṁ naya māṁ caraṇāntikam

Vilāpa-kusumāñjali 96

I am Yours! I am Yours! I cannot live without You! O Devī, please understand this and bring me to Your lotus feet.

“O Rādhike, You are my heart, my soul. Everything I possess is Yours. You have complete adhikāra over me. I am Yours, I am Yours! Without You, I cannot stay one moment in this world. Please, please, give me shelter at Your lotus feet. I desire nothing other than the shelter of Your lotus feet.”

Tavaivāsmi tavaivāsmi means, “I offer myself to You, I am Yours. I don’t know anything without You. I am Yours, I am Yours, I cannot live without You.” Why is this repeated? Is once not enough? The first ‘I am Yours’ means, “Many mañjarīs are close to You. May they accept me, give me shelter, and a chance to serve You. I am poor, fallen, and full of faults, but please accept me.” The second ‘I am Yours’ means, “I am praying to Your senior authorities, the sakhīs. May they accept and teach me, not reject me. May they call me forward and give me a drop of their love, otherwise I am dry. How can I stay with You without any love and affection?”

If there is no love and affection, then one brahmacārī or devotee cannot remain following bhakti. He will be dry and suffering in māyā. If one devotee helps another, then devotion can grow in such a favorable environment. If a senior devotee nourishes junior devotees with his love and affection, the juniors’ devotion will become strong, and they will gradually become senior in bhakti, and will bestow love and affection to others and help them grow as well. This flow will then run on continuously.

In this verse, Rati Mañjarī laments, “Aho! Devī, I have no one else in this world other than You! I am only Yours! I am only Yours! I cannot live without You for a single moment! Please bestow the shelter of Your lotus feet. I cannot go to any other, look at any other, nor have any dealing or connection with any other. I am Yours alone, Yours alone, Yours alone!”

“What is the need to promise so many times?” Śrīmatījī asks.

“If I spoke with anyone,” Rati replies, “it wasn’t for my own happiness. If anyone asks about You, then I feel the need to speak for Your sake. And if I don’t answer, then He teases me, ‘O stubborn one! O exalted arrogant maidservant of Your proud mistress. You are so exalted that you can’t spare me even a moment to speak.’ Then, when I said a few words, You became angered. I tell You sincerely that I am Yours, I am Yours, I am Yours! I cannot live another minute without You. Please give me shelter at Your feet. You are the reason I am living. Not seeing Your lotus feet, I cannot survive for even a moment. Please give me place at Your feet and don’t make me separate from You for even a moment.

“Lalitā-devī is extremely dear to You, I am not so dear to You as she is. I made a mistake, but Lalitā-devi is very close to You. Please listen to Her request and accept me back in Your good graces. Don’t keep me away from You.”

Now Rati Mañjarī prays to Lalitā-devī, “Please, by any means, remove Svāminī’s māna. If you can’t do this great task, who will I go to for shelter? And only having Her speak to me again is not enough; may She grant me Her intimate service. Otherwise, if She shrugs and says, ‘Okay, I forgave her, no problem,’ but doesn’t give me service again, keeping me at a distance, then what will be my position? Please petition Her on my behalf. If She doesn’t give me Her intimate service, I will die.”

Dāsa Gosvāmī was in the highest state of separation in his sādhaka form. Even in mānasī-sevā, one cannot be deviated in service and dedication to one’s worshipable beloved.

Once, one thirsty man came to the cottage of Lokanātha dāsa Gosvāmī and asked for water. Receiving no answer, He next went to the kuṭīra of Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura and begged for water. When Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura gave water to this thirsty man, Lokanātha dāsa Gosvāmī became upset and said, “Leave this place! If you want to serve others, then there is no need to stay here. You have no desire for bhajana. Go and serve others.” It was Kṛṣṇa who had come. There were many homes nearby in the village, why would anyone come to a Bābājī’s kuṭīra for water? Anyone could go drink water from a well. Why would one come and beg for a glass of water from Bābājīs? But Kṛṣṇa came to test Narottama, knowing, “He is on Rādhārānī’s side. Let me see what he does.”

When Lokanātha dāsa Gosvāmī saw that Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura had some softness towards Kṛṣṇa, that he had become a little favorable to Kṛṣṇa, he said, “Go serve Him and His followers.”

The situation is perilous for those solely dedicated to Rādhārānī. If they go a little to one side or another, then She has great māna. Breaking that māna is not easy.

sva-kuṇḍaṁ tava lolākṣi sa-priyāyāḥsad aspadam

atraiva mama samvāsa ihaiva mama saṁsthitiḥ

Vilāpa-kusumāñjali 97

O restless-eyed one, Your lake is the eternal dwelling-place of You and Your beloved. Here only will I reside and here alone will I stay.

Dāsa Gosvāmī says, “Rādhā-kuṇḍa is extremely dear to You. Inside this kuṇḍa there is not only water, rather the mellows of all Your love are present here. All the sakhīs’ and mañjarīs’ love is present here as well. I stay on the bank of Your Rādhā-kuṇḍa without any qualification, but my eyes search in all directions to see from which way You are coming. The mañjarīs and sakhīs will call me and show me the pathway to Your lotus feet in a secluded grove. They will give me permission to reside here eternally.”

Srimati may then say, “Why are you distressed? You are already living here at Radha kunda, performing bhajana. What problem do you have?”

“No, no, no, I have this body now. Gaurahari offered me to His near and dear Svarūpa Dāmodara, who sent me here to Rādhā-kuṇḍa. But now this body is very old. Soon it will leave me.”

“Are you sad because of this?”

“No, no, no, I am not sad or afraid of leaving my body, but I want to permanently serve You in the form of a mañjarī. Please give this to me. Don’t give me a big rich post or make me wealthy and healthy and send me far away.”

Dāsa Gosvāmī prays, “May I have eternal residence here at Radha kunda.” What is the meaning? This means, “I will serve You while You engage in intimate pastimes with Kṛṣṇa, ready to do anything needed. I will fan You, massage Your lotus feet, and make Your bed. I will stay here for all services, not going anywhere.”

Dāsa Gosvāmī next prays, “I am staying here, but I am unqualified. Yet, You are searching for me, ‘Where is Rati? Where did she go?’ Then I say, ‘I am here, with You. Don’t worry. Why are You looking at me with restless eyes? Wherever Kṛṣṇa is present, I will bring Him to Your kuñja by any ploy. I know how to catch Him. But if I speak with Kṛṣṇa to bring Him back, will You be angered? I will teach Him how to break Your māna, but for this, please don’t become upset with me.

“You engage in loving pastimes with Kṛṣṇa at Rādhā-kuṇḍa. May I reside here eternally. If I am always present, I can assist Him in pleasing You. I do not want to leave this service for any other engagement.”

he śrī-sarovara sadā tvayi sā mad-īśā

preṣṭhena sārdham iha khelati kāma-raṅgaiḥ

tvaṁ cet priyāt priyam atīva tayor itīmaṁ

hā darśayādya kṛpayā mama jīvitaṁ tam

Vilāpa-kusumāñjali 98

O beautiful Lake, my mistress eternally enjoys pastimes with Her beloved on your shore. If you are most dear to Them, then please mercifully show me now my mistress, who is my life and soul.

Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī says, “O Rādhā-kuṇḍa, my mistress, Rādhārānī, stays in a kuñjakuṭīra on your bank.
She gives darśana there and plays openly, without restriction.
Kṛṣṇa also comes freely for Her darśana. You are very near and dear to Them. I pray to you to please grant me darśana of my mistress. In your beautiful waters, Kṛṣṇa dallies with Śrīmatī in varieties of love-play. Sometimes He embraces Her beneath the water of Rādhā-kuṇḍa, kissing Her neck, cheek and lips, and caressing Her bosom and other limbs.”

This Rādhā-kuṇḍa is supremely dear to Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa. Why? This lake is completely filled with rasa. Which rasa? Mādhurya-rasa. In this place that energy is present, which is the most exalted and strongest current of mamatā, possessive love. This current does not exist to such an extreme in any other location. By coming to Rādhā-kuṇḍa, a powerful urge and enthusiasm comes from the flow of mādhurya there, and desire comes to express one’s love. In other places, one may become tired, apathetic, or remain distant. But here there is no separation; there is complete closeness.

kṣaṇam api tava saṅgaṁna tyajed eva devi

tvam asi samavayastvān narma-bhūmir yad asyāḥ

iti sumukhi viśākhe darśayitvā mad-īśāṁ

mama viraha-hatāyāḥ prāṇa-rakṣāṁ kuruṣva

Vilāpa-kusumāñjali 99

O fair-faced Viśākhe, My mistress will not leave your company for even a moment. Because You are both the same age, you are the realm of Her playful joking pastimes. Please save my life from the affliction of separation and show me my Svāminī.

Dāsa Gosvāmī prays, “O Viśākhe, you are my guru. You teach how to serve my Svāminī, Rādhikā. You never leave Her even for a moment. I pray to you, please bring me to my Svāminī. You are of the same age as my Svāminī, and similar in nature to Her. I don’t want to leave your association. You bestow darśana of my mistress. I am weeping in separation. Please save my life.”

Why does he pray like this? Śrīmatī Rādhārānī doesn’t like to give up Viśākhā’s company for a moment. Śrīmatī always keeps Viśākhā near. They are very close friends. When Kṛṣṇa comes forcefully to kiss Śrīmatī, She sometimes places Viśākhā before Him. Kṛṣṇa then jokes and plays with Viśākhā, but Viśākhā moves aside and pushes Him towards Rādhikā. Why? Rādhikā’s followers do not desire to independently meet with Kṛṣṇa. When Viśākhā sends Kṛṣṇa to Rādhārānī, she doesn’t leave the kuñja. Why? So that Kṛṣṇa doesn’t harass Her too much. When He tries to, Viśākhā reprimands Him, “Move! No more.” Kṛṣṇa is not satisfied. He has desire to meet with Rādhikā, but Viśākhā takes Him away to increase His eagerness even more.

She says, “Why are You so hard with my Kiśorī? Her skin is scratched from Your attacks!” Viśākhā takes Rādhārānī into a private quarter and applies a cooling sandal paste on Her limbs, while saying, “I shouldn’t have allowed Kṛṣṇa to come. Now He has bruised and scratched You.” Rādhārānī also desired to meet more with Kṛṣṇa, but Viśākhā took Her away to increase Her eagerness even more. Then Kṛṣṇa crept up from behind and suddenly kissed Śrīmatī, causing Her beautiful face to flush red.

“This is not appropriate!” Viśākhā exclaimed, “how many times have I told You to restrain Yourself!”

Just then, Lalitā comes in with the mañjarīs and says, “Send Kṛṣṇa out and bar the door of the kuñja.”

Kṛṣṇa is sent forcibly out of the kuñja. Within, Lalitā and Viśākhā begin to serve and decorate Śrīmatī. Kṛṣṇa searches for a pathway in, or a gap to peek inside. By these playful actions of the sakhīs, His happiness is increased and mādhurya-rasa swells.

Dāsa Gosvāmī prays, “O worshipable Viśākhā, Rādhārānī doesn’t like to leave you for even a moment. You are always joyful in Her company. Please bestow darśana of my mistress, saving my life. By your indication, I will also enter in the kuñja and apply sandal on the cut marks on Rādhārānī’s cheek and chest. By your mercy, I will go and intimately serve Svāminī.”

Kṛṣṇa comes and pleads to Rati Mañjarī at the kuñja entrance, “Please let me enter the kuñja. I will not disturb Śrīmatī any more. I will only go and sit a short distance from Her, and won’t tease or taunt Her. I swear that I won’t touch Her.” But He cannot live without Śrīmatī. He prays to Rati, “My life is departing in separation from Her, only you can save My life.”

He tries to convince Rati Mañjarī by stroking her cheek, but Rati neglects Him and moves away, knowing Rādhārānī would become angry with her if she allowed Kṛṣṇa to affectionately caress her. Kṛṣṇa’s separation from Rādhārānī is so intense, it is impossible for Him to tolerate.

hā nātha gokula-sudhākara su-prasanna-

vaktrāravinda madhura-smita he kṛpārdra

yatra tvayā viharate praṇayaiḥ priyārāt

tatraiva mām api naya priya-sevanāya

Vilāpa-kusumāñjali 100

O Lord, O nectar moon of Gokula, O You whose cheerful lotus face smiles sweetly, O You who melts with compassion! Wherever You go to enjoy loving pastimes with Your beloved, please take me there so that I can affectionately serve You.

Kṛṣṇa, who is Gokulacandra, the moon of Gokula, nourishes Gokula Mahāvana, the realm of the gopas, gopīs, and cows. He is always very pleased and smiling. Why? His heart is Rādhārānī’s dwelling place; She is His nearest and dearest.

Kṛṣṇa is sweet and smiling, with a very soft heart. If anyone comes to Him, He desires to send them to the Vraja-devīs. This is His deep desire. Kṛṣṇa never keeps one nearby Himself.
He looks, “Who has come to Me? What is their desire?”
Observing their desires, he sends some to Mathurā, some to Dvārakā, some to Earth, and some to heavenly planets. However, if anyone has a little bit of respect and faith for the Vraja gopīs, Kṛṣṇa will certainly send him to Vraja-dhāma. He will bestow deep affection and love so as to nourish one’s service. This affection is not small; it is unlimited and continuously flowing.

Dāsa Gosvāmī prays, “O Gokulacandra, You distribute nectar to the hearts of everyone. When You are pleased, You make everyone pleased. O merciful one, Rādhārānī is very dear to You. Please send me to Her, and there I will learn the process of love.

“O Gokula-sudhākara, the embodiment of nectar, when You speak, a shower of nectar drenches me. When I see You, it is as if nectar is raining upon me. Please take me to that place where You engage in loving pastimes with Śrīmatī Rādhikā. As You dally with Śrīmatījī, I will be close at hand to serve You when You become weary, giving a glass of cool juice, water, or a honey-drink.

“O beautiful one, when You glance at any living beings with Your lotus eyes, You acquire their hearts and cause them to fall madly in love with You. Dallying in the hearts of Your beloveds, external meeting is not required to feel the bliss of union. Merely seeing You with Śrīmatī, my heart overflows with joy.”

Hearing this prayer, Kṛṣṇa smiles and says, “This is not a request generally heard of. Still, I grant your wish. Not all people receive this qualification. But you are very dear to Rādhikā. Knowing this, I fulfill your prayer.”

lakṣmīr yad-aṅghri-kamalasya nakhāñcalasya

saundarya-bindum api nārhati labdhum īśe

sā tvaṁ vidhāsyasi na cen mama netra-dānaṁ

kīm jīvitena mama duḥkha-davāgnidena

Vilāpa-kusumāñjali 101

O my Goddess, Your beauty is such that Lakṣmī, the Goddess of Fortune Herself, is unable to attain even a drop of the beauty of the tips of Your lotus toenails. If You do not give Your darṣana in charity to my eyes, then what is the use of my life, ablaze with a great forest fire of sufferings?

Lakṣmī-devī always serves Lord Nārāyaṇa, massaging His feet and sometimes placing them on her chest or head. She is so dear to Lord Nārāyaṇa that He keeps her in the form of a golden line on His chest. Yet, she doesn’t have the ability to enter Vraja and witness the pastimes of Kṛṣṇa with Śrīmatī Rādhārānī.

Knowing this benediction is not even granted to the goddess of fortune Lakṣmī-devī, Dāsa Gosvāmī prays, “Please grant me Your favor, allowing me to serve in Your intimate pastimes. If You bestow transcendental vision, I will be able to see Your pastimes, and my tendency to serve will increase. If You don’t show me mercy, there is no value to my life and I shall give it up at once. Give me the fortune of witnessing Your pastimes.”

What is the meaning of darśana? Is merely witnessing pastimes enough? Dāsa Gosvāmī prays, “I will favorably serve in Your pastimes.”

One thing is ordinary, or external, darśana, but a higher darśana is that which is infused with transcendental vision and knowledge.

Dāsa Gosvāmī entreats Śrīmatī, “If You do not bestow the gift of transcendental vision to me, then I will be consumed in this forest fire of misery that is burning me.”

What is this fire of suffering? “I am not dear to You.” How is this? “If You do not bestow qualification to serve in Your pastimes, having not attained my aspiration, I will soon give up my life.”

In this world, Lakṣmī’s influence is all-pervasive; she commands everyone’s respect and everyone desires to attain her. Everyone hankers after respect, health, and wealth. Lakṣmī-devī distributes these things. Then, going near these things, the jīvas become blind. Why is this? Does Lakṣmī not give light to their eyes? By collecting mundane things from Lakṣmī and staying near them, the eyes are fixed there and cannot see anything else. Then how can one transcend this world and māyā, and come to Śrīmatī Rādhārānī in Vṛndāvana-dhāma? This is not possible.

Many times, Śrīla Gurudeva told the story of a wife and husband who were devotees of Viṣṇu, named Raka and Baka. Daily, they went to the forest and collected dry wood, that they brought and sold in the market to maintain themselves. Seeing their condition, Nārada Ṛṣi became disturbed and said to Lord Nārāyaṇa, “Your devotees are working very hard, tolerating all conditions. They are very poor. Why don’t You send Lakṣmī to help them?”

“They do not like Lakṣmī,” the Lord replied. “If I send her, they will not accept her.”

“No, please send her, my Lord.”

Lord Nārāyaṇa gave him some gold and jewels and said, “Take these to those devotees.”

“Okay, I am going,” Nārada Ṛṣi said.

“I am coming as well,” Lord Nārāyaṇa said.

Nārada Ṛṣi came with Lord Nārāyaṇa, and went to the forest where Raka and Baka were on their way to collect wood. Nārada
Ṛṣi placed the gold and jewels on the pathway and hid behind
a tree to watch what they would do. The husband was in front and the wife was behind him. As the husband came forward, he saw
that many gold coins and jewels were on the path. He used the
sand on the pathway to quickly cover the coins before his wife came. But when she caught up with him, she said, “What are you doing? Why are you wasting your time covering dirt with other dirt?”

“I thought you would be attracted to this gold and want to take it home.”

“Why would I waste time with this? I am very happy as we are. Let’s go.”

Then Raka and Baka continued on their way, without looking back at the gold or even once thinking to take it.

Lord Nārāyaṇa then said to Nārada, “Just see, My devotees have no desire for wealth. They don’t want to divide their heart at all from Me.”

Lakṣmī comes and tries to serve the Vrajavāsīs, but they do not accept what she offers. By accepting opulence, the heart will be divided from Vraja.

Therefore Dāsa Gosvāmī prays, “Please, give me eyes so that I will watch only You, Your mañjarīs and sakhīs, not Lakṣmī, or any other group. Otherwise, if I think of Lakṣmī, she will come and try to cheat and bribe me into her company. This would be like jumping into a forest fire of suffering.”

nityārtidena vittena durlabhenātma-mṛtyunā

gṛhāpatyāpta-paśubhiḥ kā prītiḥ sādhitaiś calaiḥ

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 11.3.19

Wealth is a perpetual source of distress, it is most difficult to acquire, and it is virtual death for the soul. What satisfaction does one actually gain from his wealth? Similarly, how can one gain ultimate or permanent happiness from one’s so-called home, children, relatives, and domestic animals, which are all maintained by one’s hard-earned money?

One who accepts opulence suffers in his present life, when he leaves his present body, and in lives to come.

āśā-bharair amṛta-sindhu-mayaiḥkathañcit

kālo mayāti-gamitaḥ kila sāmprataṁhi

tvaṁ cet kṛpāṁ mayi vidhāsyasi naiva kiṁ me

prāṇair vrajena ca varoru bakāriṇāpi

Vilāpa-kusumāñjali 102

O beautiful-thighed one, I have spent all my time here, aspiring after oceans of nectar. Now, if You are not kind to me, then what is the use of my life, my living in Vraja and even Kṛṣṇa, the enemy of Baka?

Dāsa Gosvāmī prays, “O Rādhike, my hope is that You will give me one drop from the ocean of Your compassion. If You do not give me any mercy, I do not want to reside in Rādhā-kuṇḍa, have any connection with Kṛṣṇa, Vraja, or anything else.

“Kṛṣṇa is the ocean of nectar. Drowning in the ocean of His beauty, all beings become maddened. But You control Him and keep Him near You at all times. With the wish to attain Your service, I pass my life in great distress. If You don’t bestow mercy upon me, I will give up my life.

“I have only one aspiration. If any hypocrisy or ulterior desire is lurking within me, and because of that You are not accepting me, please slay such a desire or nature. Please don’t deprive me of Your mercy! Remove all obstacles and bring me to Your lotus feet. At every moment, in every circumstance, enable me to remain close to You. This is my hope. I maintain my life simply by this hope. I want nothing else but to one-pointedly serve You and Your beloved in a secluded grove.
If You were to say, ‘Would You not feel any shyness or shame?’ I reply, ‘I am not against You or separate from You; I am Your’s alone.’ If You were to say, ‘If someone else is present, some obstacle would come in My meetings with Kṛṣṇa,’ I reply, ‘I am not separate from You. Thus I cannot become an obstacle in Your meetings.’ ”

What is the mood of the mañjarīs? Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura demonstrates this in his prayer:

śrī kṛṣṇa-virahe, rādhikāra daśā, āmi to’ sahite nāri

yugala-milana, sukhera kāraṇa, jīvana chāḍite pāri

I am absolutely unable to tolerate Śrī Rādhikā’s pitiable condition when She is suffering in separation from Śrī Kṛṣṇa, but I am fully prepared to immediately give up my life for the sake of Their happy reunion.

Dāsa Gosvāmī prays, “There is no question of disturbance from my service, either to me or You. And even if there may be, please cleanse me and accept me as Your own, keeping me near You always. I am only a small mañjarī; I am not skilled and my body is not strong. Please bless me, that I become beautiful and expert in all manners of service, so that I may be able to please You and Your beloved.

tvaṁ cet kṛpāmayi kṛpāṁ mayi duḥkhitāyāṁ

naivātanor atitarāṁ kim iha pralāpaiḥ

tvat-kuṇḍa-madhyam api tad-bahu-kālam eva

saṁsevyamānam api kiṁ nu kariṣyatīha

Vilāpa-kusumāñjali 103

O merciful one, if You will not give Your great mercy to this suffering one, then what was the use of all these lamentations and all my long service to Your lake?

Dāsa Gosvāmī prays, “If You don’t give me Your blessings, then, bitterly weeping, I will beseech You, ‘I have waited for so long to serve You. If You don’t give any mercy, I will soon give up my life. I am very sad. See how I am suffering and praying everyday. Do not wait. Please come and accept me, and give me the chance to serve You at Radha kunda.
I will continuously serve here.’

ayi praṇaya-śālini praṇaya-puṣṭa-dāsyāptaye

prakāmam api rodanaiḥ pracura-duḥkha-dagdhātmanā

vilāpa-kusumāñjalir hṛdi nidhāya pādāmbuje

mayā bata samarpitas tava tanotu tuṣṭiṁ manāk

Vilāpa-kusumāñjali 104

O affectionate one, loudly weeping and yearning for Your loveful service, I clasp Your lotus feet to my burning heart and place these laments at Your lotus feet as a bouquet of flowers. May they give You a little pleasure.

Dāsa Gosvāmī prays, “O Rādhike, I will be Your servant.
I yearn for Your servitorship. I am crying to You and offering this Vilāpa-kusumāñjali at Your lotus feet. Please be satisfied with me and bestow Your intimate service. May Your lotus feet always be present in my heart. This is my prayer. If You don’t accept me, I will burn in the fire of Your separation. I request You to please, please accept me.

“I have lamented to You in so many ways. If anyone loves You and wants to serve You, Your heart is too soft to reject that person; You accept that soul as Your own. If the soul is unqualified, then You send her to the company of Rūpa Mañjarī for training. Rūpa Mañjarī then gradually teaches her the perfect manners of service, and once she is favorably taught, Rūpa then brings her to You and gives her a chance for service. Please nourish me with Your love and help me attain the highest state of perfection—service of Your lotus feet. I am being consumed in the fire of sorrow. Therefore, I am weeping to You, offering my heart to You and praying again and again. Please accept my woeful entreaties at Your lotus feet. This is my offering of love to You. I am calling out to You for mercy. I am crying out and inviting You to come accept me and bring me into Your service in transcendental Vraja. My mind is not able to seek any other thing. I will not be swayed by the invitation of Kṛṣṇa or by the bribe of any group opposing You. I am Yours, only Yours.”

Srila Raghunatha das Gosvami ki Jaya! (Excerpted from the Bhaktabandhav book publication, “Vilap-kusmangali”.  Available from: rasik@kripa.tv )

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