Kṛṣṇa-karṇāmṛta 53

I am absorbed in contemplating my Lord. His chest shines with the sandalwood paste from the pitcherlike breasts of the ardent gopīs, who have been incited to amorous battle by Cupid’s flower arrows, and the sweet beauty of His lotus face is magnified at every moment by His gentle smile, which is full of passionate delight and which has stolen the splendor of the moon.
A big fight has now begun. Samara. There is a battle place where arrows are being shot. Which arrows? Kusuma-śara, very soft flowers are being thrown. When one is touched by these, he is wounded immediately. How much strength is in a flower? Being touched by a single flower, one is finished. From far away, a yellow or red flower came and touched Śrīmatī. How? Before, the sakhīs made a vaijayantī-mālā and gave it to Kṛṣṇa. Now, this garland returned from Kṛṣṇa to the sakhīs, and the sakhīs offered it to Śrīmatī Rādhārānī. When the garland touches Śrīmatī Rādhārānī, it is more powerful than an arrow.
Kṛṣṇa touched and wore those flowers, and the flowers are now showered with Kṛṣṇa’s love. They have this energy. Now these flower arrows have come. Kṛṣṇa has come Himself and attacked. Śrīmatī Rādhārānī is very soft and cannot tolerate these arrows and She falls senseless.

How can one understand? Like one who has a lover—if anything comes from that lover, by touching, looking or smelling that, the beloved feels so much pain. Why? All their pastimes together are remembered, but they are separated.
Śrīmatī Rādhārānī stands and, from a distance, the sakhīs offer a puṣpa-abhiṣeka, a shower of flowers. Petals of white flowers shower Her, and She is very happy.

Śrīmatī Rādhārānī gets Kṛṣṇa’s remnant flower garland. She looks at a yellow flower and becomes very happy. Then She sees a blue flower, considers, and then is also happy. But when She looks at a red flower on the garland, She understands Kṛṣṇa has gone far away and becomes distressed, saying, “Now I have no more chance to meet with Him.” This is a red signal, meaning, Kṛṣṇa is far away. Who can understand these hints?

The gopīs are angry and disturbed. This flower garland came and they became angry. The gopīs brought it to Śrīmatī Rādhikā, and Śrīmatī wore it. Then She understood who had made this mālā for Kṛṣṇa.Someone from Candrāvalī’s party, like Śaibyā, Syāmalā, or Bhadrā had given it to Kṛṣṇa. Śrīmatī thought, “Kṛṣṇa is teasing Me and thus sending this.”
Śrīmatī understands everything. Why? The flower has a specific fragrance. It is not the flower that is fragrant, it is the anurāga. Where did that anurāga come from? Kṛṣṇa is waiting to hear that. This is called samara, a battleplace, and everyone is ready to fight. Then what do they do? Also, when this flower garland touches the gopīs’ chests, they become dizzy and have no peace. They become restless. Why? This mālā touched Kṛṣṇa’s chest, and then it came to Rādhārānī. Rādhārānī now has jealousy, “Oh, Kṛṣṇa! You embraced another; I am not lucky.” She said to the garland, “How long were you with Kṛṣṇa? From morning to evening you were with Kṛṣṇa. Now He came back in the evening and threw off the mālā, and it came to Me. You were with Kṛṣṇa for twelve hours!” Then She burns with jealousy and looks at the garland with angry eyes.

At that time, Kṛṣṇa watches the face of Śrīmatī—how it changes color. She is very disturbed. Lalitā and Viśākhā understand Her moods.

When Svarūpa Dāmodara spoke this śloka, Mahāprabhu’s face and mood would change. He would become disturbed and move around restlessly in the Gambhīrā. Why? Rādhārānī’s moods came one by one in His heart.

Then Śrīmatī closed Her eyes and smiled. At the same time, She is experiencing māna, jealous anger, and smiling. Why is She smiling? She said, “Oh, now I understand. Kṛṣṇa sent this mālā and news, “I am coming soon; wear this mālā, this mālā was with Me. Don’t worry, this mālā was with Me for twelve hours; this is a hint that I will be with You for twelve hours.” Then She smiled.

She understood that this was a good hint that is giving Her some indication. Now She becomes proud, “Oh, thank You. This is good.” Her face became millions of times more effulgent than the moon.

Kṛṣṇa watches. Before, She was very angry and Her face had become dark, like a cloud covering the sun. Kṛṣṇa is watching from a hidden place. She touched and smelt this mālā, and embraced it. Kṛṣṇa thought, “What is She doing?”
Her bhāva increased to sneha, māna, praṇaya, raga, anurāga, bhāva, mahābhāva, modana, mohana, mādana. Step-by-step it increased, like the different phases of the moon. When one flower or garland came, Śrīmatī was pleased. One by one these moods came. Where do these moods go? These go and touch the hearts of the mañjarīs and affect them.

In military training, there is not direct speech, only hints. If you don’t understand, you will be punished or chastised. This is a training center. The moods of Rādhārānī go everywhere directly, teaching the gopīs and making them qualified. What? Her lotus-like face smiles; sometimes Her color changes, and She glances with crooked eyes. When disturbed, She opens Her eyes partially, not completely. Where is She looking? At Kṛṣṇa. What is He doing? Where is He? What is His desire? “Okay, now I understand.” That mood goes to the sakhīs, and they understand and then arrange everything. They block the road: “No more entrance.”

Kṛṣṇa comes from far away and prays, “Please, open the gate and give Me entrance.”
“No,” the gopīs say. Kṛṣṇa asks another mañjarī and then a sakhī, but they deny Him entrance. Then Kṛṣṇa begs for entrance, and the message goes to Rādhārānī. She says, “No! Mādhava jāhi mādhava jāhi—Mādhava, don’t come here, don’t come here. Never. You are a crooked cheater. Get out. Don’t stay here. You are dirty and black!
By coming here, You will make everything dirty.”

What is Śrīmatī’s meaning? “Please quickly open the gate and bring Him. I can’t tolerate His absence any longer. I cannot bear the pain of separation.”

But how can She tell Him directly? This order is indirect and beautiful. However, the sakhīs understand by inspiration. What do they do? They close the gate behind Kṛṣṇa and send Him to the back of the kuñja. Kṛṣṇa must run around almost one kilometer. Then He enters the kuñja from behind and hides. Śrīmatī looks for Kṛṣṇa and says, “Has He gone? Is He is not
coming?” She goes one step forward to look and see if Kṛṣṇa is at the gate. Kṛṣṇa comes from behind and picks up a fan.
Śrīmatī Rādhārānī is sweating in distress, and the drops of Her sweat are falling like pearls. She asks, “Has Kṛṣṇa gone?”
Then Kṛṣṇa starts fanning from behind. She looks back suddenly and becomes very shy and sits down. Now Kṛṣṇa is happy. Who won in this battle place? Understanding this is very difficult.

Bilvamaṅgala Ṭhākura watches all these līlās with his internal vision. He is externally blind, sitting at Candra-sarovara on the bank of Govardhana. There, all the līlās appear in his heart one by one. He sees everything and then sings to Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa hears and wonders, “Oh, my deep līlā with my antaraṅga-gopīs—how did their moods come here? How did this nectar come inside this person?” This is tasteful, and Kṛṣṇa is greedy to taste this.

Bilvamaṅgala Ṭhākura ki Jaya! (Excerpted from the Bhaktabandhav book publication: “Krsna Karnamrta”. Available from: rasik@kripa.tv ),